
  Nr.3   1997   Price: 80 Pakistani Rupees, 1.42 Dinar, 2.00 USD, 2.70 CAD

                                        \  ####    <- Authentic "one size 
                                         *######      fits all" turban
                                  #      ########
                                  ##      ######
                              ######      #####
           Sanjed the  ->   ########     #####      <- Arabus Raunchius,
           Camel, our      ##########      #######     better known as the
           mascot and       ##  #####     #####        common Paki.
           a Paki deity     #   ####      ######
                            #   ####   #########
                            #  ####    #########
                            #  ####   #  #######
                            # #####  #    #####
              Emergency ->  # ####  #     ######
              Brake         # ######    #########
                            #  ####################
                             # #####################
                              #######################
                                #####################  <- Note the tattoo
                                 ###################      saying "Paradigm
                                 ######      #######      was here"
                                  ####       ######
                                  ###         #####
                                  ###         ### #
                                  ###         ### #
                                  ###          ## #
                                  ###          ####
                                 ##           ###
                          
                                 WWW.BUDGETPAKI.ORG
                                THEPAKIS@HOTMAIL.COM
            "The Pakis that stay together pray 5 times a day together"

=============================================================================

It is Sunday 29 SHa`baan 542 B.H and here is, straight from the vast desert
regions of the third world...


               THE THIRD WORLD PAKI CHARTS - JUNE 1997 EDITION


=============================================================================


Theme Song (to be sung to the chorus of Jay-Z's "Ain't No")

Ain't no Paki like the one I've got
No one eats curry better
Runs the 7-11 and stinks a lot       
Has enough back hair to make a sweater

* Note: To skip this section, just do a Find "*****"

        Word up sons and daughters of Allah!  Your favorite Pakis are back
and we're all erect because it's summer.  Summer means more tourists visit
scenic Pakistan and thus we can make money begging, washing their rental car
windows (despite being told to get off the hood), and knifing them in dark,
dusty alleys.  Ah yes, Allah is good and we reap his bounty.
        The days are long and the nights are boring, so what is a poor Paki
in the scene to do?  When he's not out servicing his harem of 46 wives, he
can login to sites this month and see that things have been hopping!  Despite
the impending drought (our viziers still predict this and good Pakis do not
question tradition!) in July, there have been plenty of games out recently
to keep you entertained.  Our heart fills with joy as we seen even our Paki
brethren at Razor can manage to squeeze out a few things, and if even they
were able to get games, you know every other group had to get plenty.
        So sit back and relax, grab a glass of goat's milk and some
tandouri to snack on, and get ready to see the month from the eyes of 
dirty brown shrivelled men wearing turbans and diapers!

        How do we rate games you say?  Normally we let the camels choose the
pick of the litter, but for now we'll go by the following system:

******************************************************************************
 GROUND RULES
******************************************************************************

1. In regards to assigning credit, the rule is FIRST COMPLETE, WORKING, 
   CRACKED version wins.  This is not to say that SUBST is not a viable way
   of getting a release out.  In the case of a race, however, where two
   groups put up a title within 1 hour or so of each other, if one is cracked
   and the other is a subst, the cracked one gets credit.  It is to be hoped
   that this will remind half the idiotic groups out there about the rules
   they agreed to.

2. Betas.  Some people dislike them, others don't.  Here's how we define a
   beta, and we'll deal with it in the following manner.  A Beta = If a 
   program is different from the version you buy on a store shelf, guess what,
   it's a beta (despite fervent claims that this is not the right way to
   define beta, it's been the right way for 8 years, and us Pakis don't
   break with tradition...oops, forgot to put on my turban).  If a group is
   forthright about it, and puts that a game is a beta in their .NFO and .DIZ
   they get half the credit that the full title would have gotten.  Should
   a group decide it's best to pull the wool over our eyes, they get the
   acclaimed Razor "it's final just not the store final" award and 1/10 
   of the points that the full title would get.  If a group releases a
   final version, PROVIDED THEY HAVE SUFFICIENT PROOF (File size differences, 
   especially in the .EXE as well as any other obvious differences in gameplay, 
   such as the addition of multiplayer, etc will be sufficient proof)
   to justify the final, they are awarded the same points as would be given 
   to a previously unreleased title.

3. The disk limit is set at 75 1.44 Meg Disks.  Go over it, and us Pakis will
   not only bestow upon you the Paradigm "quality not quantity, rip not rape,
   good games need no limit" award, which is a little golden statue depicting
   a pile of shit upon a pedestal, we will also give you 20 NEGATIVE POINTS to
   be subtracted from your monthly total and a big fuck you.  The limit is 75, 
   7-5 (even us Pakis can count this high), and since it was set by all 
   groups, much to their chagrin now we're sure, breaking it results in a 
   heinous act of stupidity and lameness.  The fleas of a thousand camels 
   will find your tent as punishment.

4. Addons are legit releases in the following case ONLY.  If the company who
   makes the game made the addon, it counts just like any other game.  For
   example, the Steel Panthers Campaign disk by SSI is for the game Steel 
   Panthers, also made by SSI, thus it gets credit.  70 More Levels of Warcraft 
   is made by Lame Pakis, Inc for the game Warcraft from Blizzard, thus it does
   not get credit.  Scenario disks have always been legit, the fact that 
   nowadays they are 10 disks instead of 1 changes nothing, despite what
   lame asses would like you to believe.

5. Games that are for MMX, special 3D FX cards, etc are NOT legit releases.
   Put one out, get -1 points, and understand there is a reason real groups
   pass on them.  Even Pakis, as dirty and foul as we are after a day in 
   New Delhi in 100 degree weather, find putting one out is disgusting.

6. Sound, Video, etc Addons get NO points.  You get one release per CD,
   that's all.

******************************************************************************
 RATING SYSTEM
******************************************************************************

        You're not all going to agree with this, and we don't care.  We
can't please everyone, and if you get angry with us, we'll just commence
passive resistance by sitting on your lawn and stinking up the place.  People
have different opinions of what the "big" games are, what the "big" companies
are, etc.  You will have to trust our judgement, even if we are stupid sand
crawlers.

1. A previously unreleased game will receive between 1 - 10 points, depending
   on how "big" a title something is.  This is a measure of how good a game
   we believe it is, how expected a title by gamers it is, and by how big the
   company who made it is.  We are Paki-Americans, so if some title like 
   "Ultimate Soccer Manager '96-'97 Swedish League Deluxe Edition" is big in 
   Europe and we give it minimal points, deal with it.  If it ever appears
   in this country, it will be 2 years later and in the bargain bin.

2. We give bonuses for good ripping!  If a game is less than 20 disks, it
   gets a 1 point bonus.  If a game is less than 10 disks, it gets a 2 point
   bonus.  These bonus points cannot be used, however, to upset the #1 group.
   To give an example, let's say Class is ranked as #2, having put out 10 
   unreleased card games at 4 disks a piece.  They score a 70 + 20 bonus 
   points for a total of 90.  If Razor, ranked at #1, put out 10 unreleased 
   games, all of which were over 20 disks, and scored an 80 total (since they 
   got no bonus points), they still win, since the actual scores are 
   Class 70, Razor 80.  Why do we do it this way?  Not all games can be 
   ripped below a certain level, simply because they are so big, and since 
   the groups don't program them, they shouldn't get penalized.  What good 
   are the points then?  They can be used to upset any other rank than #1.
   If Class had been ranked #3 without bonus points and Razor #2, Class would
   have gained the #2 spot.  We feel most ranks are inconsequential compared
   to #1.

3. Final versions get the same points as unreleased versions, betas get 1/2 or 
   1/10 the points depending on the situation as we mentioned before.
                                                       
4. Trainers, Cheats, and anything else that is a really big help to 
   incompetent Pakis like us will get 1 point.

5. Two points will be subtracted for every NECESSARY fix.  A fix to play
   something multiplayer, though it runs fine for 100 single missions, is
   not considered necessary.  Something like patching a CD Check that pops
   up after every level IS.

******************************************************************************
 RUMORS: The Current Scene Rumor Section
******************************************************************************

- Despite it's promise to reconvene and discuss the disk limit on June 1,   
  the SPA seemed to totally ignore the commitment.  So guess what?  clASS,
  Paralame, Inbred, Loser 90210, you're all dumb ass Pakis who seem to revel
  in your stupidity and ability to lie.  We find that awesome, so we're
  making you all OFFICIAL Pakis, Allah will be proud of you!

- THG has officially disbanded, and the Pakis do the dance of joy.  Despite  
  all the RCN articles they want to use to cover the real reasons for their
  demise, we've rubbed our crystal balls and come up with the real answer
  why they are dead.  No suppliers + no crackers + a group run by clueless
  idiots = Paradigm.  Oh wait, THG makes that equation work too.

- JdA is back once again under yet another handle, calling himself Jay-Dee
  and he's already released a couple betas.  It seems he found some clueless
  Europeans you've never heard of (Jamili, Red Dragon, etc) and formed VdR,
  who promises to obtain the same level of leetness as us Pakis (and RLX).
  What do we do with these guys?  The same thing we do when we disagree with
  someone's philosophy...exterminate them!  We have extra curved swords if
  anyone wants to borrow them for the hunt.

- OfD, part time Razor French supplier, has gone into retirement.  Scratch
  another one of the few remaining assets this group has off the list.  Who
  will claim the French supply system now that he is gone?  It stands to
  reason it will be Class's "Paki Frog" or Hybrid's "Angelface."

- RCN is back, and was almost 5 weeks overdue.  They called it the best issue
  ever, and we just thought we'd mention, if that's the best you can do, we
  encourage you to come to Pakistan when we need people of your talents to
  clean up after the sacred cows.

- Agony of Hybrid, distraught at the loss of a certain HBD member, decided   
  that no loyalty exists in the scene (even though he's been around for years
  he never learned this..his turban must have been on too tight) and that
  he'd best retire.  Despite his Paki brainpower, we suppose we'll miss
  the little brown boy.

- There seems to be a new emag on the scene, called TGE.  Not only is it 
  ugly and uninteresting, it is written by clueless lamers (not studly Paki
  lamers like us).  Jove? Bob226?  Taking their word for things is like
  listening to what some noname guy like Apu Akhbar says in the National
  Enquirer over what Tom Brokaw tells you on the evening news.

- Id Mud promises to try to take it easy on the useless fixes.  We'll keep
  our yellow eyes peeled for any truth in this statement.

- The finest Sheikhs gathered to watch and laugh at Hybrid when they put
  out Speedster, which is simply Rush Hour renamed for Europe.  The best part
  is that it was supplied by Nym and Doom, famous for their wonderful duping
  on Nintendo 64, who decided to do this with no group leaders' permission.
  This lovely duo also decided to add themselves to the group in a wonderful
  display of how not to do things.  Dupe on N64, dupe on PC, what's next..

- We hear a tech support web page is in the works from Class.  Is the rumor
  true?  Where will this page be located?  How should we know, we're just
  dumb Pakis.

- Links LS '98 is rumored to not be the store final.  We recommend you
  aspiring Pakis check it out.

- Paradigm seems to be having some trouble deciding what is and isn't
  appropriate to release.  They claim to have refused Pro Pinball: TimeShock,
  and if they did folks, allow us to point something out.  This is not much
  of an excuse, as it translates to "We're just fucking stuck up or dumb" in
  English.  What idiot would not take a cool pinball game that is the sequel
  to one that won awards?  Oh well they lost Ice because of it, we'll hope
  they learned their lesson.  A few days after this incident they released
  a soccer manager, so we think that despite being hypocritcal in regards
  to issues of quality, they're just as dumb as Punjab.

- Lately it seems a wave of console suppliers is coming to the PC, due to
  the lack of activity on their preferred platforms.  So far they've proven
  a good asset for Class and Hybrid.  Keep an eye on some of these Pakis
  (who we'll leave anonymous), we think their influence is pretty interesting
  and will prove to become stronger as the year progesses.

- There is a new Hybrid web page up and www.hybridism.com, but it looks pretty
  shitty, but then again so does the group.

- The first batch of 75 disk games have begun coming out, including titles
  like Meat Puppet, Animal, Dogday, etc.  You might as well mark this date
  down, because it's the beginning of the time when people will start
  complaining asking for an even higher disk limit.  Why does everyone have
  to be a dumbass Muslim?

- The Pakis support for TRG dwindles as the group steadily takes turns for
  the worse.  Due to Freddy Krueger's lack of time, and the poorly written
  reviews (if the reviews get written at all for that matter), things are
  not going well for them.  It seems that every time FK cleans house, he
  replaces the guys he kicked out with more worthless lamers (Prolix,
  Gogolie, etc) and it's just sad.  We hope that declaring Jihaad on them
  will not be necessary, especially for the sake of the members who do still
  write good stuff (FK, TM, TX, Jackal, etc).

******************************************************************************
 MONTHLY HIGHLIGHTS: Interesting Episodes
******************************************************************************

- Class's release of Dungeon Keeper was a big booboo (can we say stupid sand
  niggers, kids?).  It turned out to be a beta, and Razor comes along and   
  finalizes it so RZR we figured they'd get full credit and CLS would get the
  brown bottomed salute, but things took a strange turn shortly thereafter.
  It seems Razor's "Final" was in reality a beta, as proven via Class's
  100% Final release.  Thus CLS gets the final points in the end and cleans
  up after their own mess while Razor gets a big slice of humble pie, though
  we doubt they'll swallow it like men.

- Carmageddon and X-Com3, despite what Jay-Dee and his retarded European
  Paki friends would have you believe, are betas.  Class finalizes Carm and
  gets full points, and we await the final of X-Com from someone.

- War Gods.  Razor purposefully dupes Class, and you want to know the funny
  part about it?  CLS knew the game sucked so they left out high quality
  so you spend less time d/ling it, since you'd only delete it in 10 minutes.
  Razor decides it's some great game and puts out a version with high
  quality audio saying how lame CLS is for not ripping it well.  Very
  impressive Razor, a little desperate for releases (and brainpower) aren't
  we?  Good thing that group's almost dead.

- Speedster from Hybrid was a dupe, being the Euro name for Rush Hour.  Maybe
  Doom will pray to Allah and receive forgiveness for his dupes, but for now
  it's best just to rag him like the lamer he is.

- The release of Animal.  Despite what Razor would have you believe in the
  .nfo for their working version, you'd have to be a true Paki if you
  thought Animal & Dogfriend, voted best rippers of the year, would try
  to give you one room and trick you.  Yes it's been confirmed Class's version
  is not 100% working (stupid arse Pakis), but because Razor took days to
  fix the error, they get no points for it.  The games scene is about
  speed of supply, and it's obvious Razor didn't have this one for a while.
  So while the fans may love you for fixing sausage adventures, we only rate
  group ability, so the Pakis won't give you points.  You'll see that CLS
  WILL be suitably penalized for the mistake, however, being dumb does not
  gain them credit.

- EF2000 v2.0 3DFX from Razor.  It's an addon, since it came off the same CD,
  and even if it wasn't it's still 3D Only crap.  

- Wipeout XL Final from Class.  Yes it's nice, yes it's the final (Skeleton
  Army had done a beta), but it's 3DFX only.  Camel dung.

******************************************************************************
 RELEASES: All the info a Paki could ever want
******************************************************************************


    Key: NEW - Unreleased new title
         FIN - Final version
         ADD - Addon/Expansion Disk
         TRN - Trainer
         CHT - Cheat
         FIX - Fix
         DUP - Duplicate, No Credit Given
         BET - Beta
         LAM - Lame : 3DFX/MMX Stuff, Regged Shareware
         CRP - Crap : Lame Program Expansion (Video Addon, etc)
         SHT - Shit : Over the Limit Stuff




   ______  /|  ___   /\______ /\______
  /      \/ | / _ \ /   _____/   _____>1
 /    |_ /  |/  |  \\____  \ \____  \  9
<     | <   /   |   /   |   \/   |   \ 9
 \  _____\_<____|___\_____  /\_____  / 7
+==\/=====================\/====hh!\/==+

______________________________________________________________________________

|Release Name              Company           Status   Size   Points   Bonus  |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
688i Hunter/Killer         Electronic Arts    NEW!     50       7      
688i H/K Sound Addon       Electronic Arts    CRP!     29       0
Animal                     Ocean              NEW!     17       6       -5
The Ardennes Offensive     SSI                NEW!     09       6        2
Carmaggedon                SCI                FIN!     25       8
Counter Action             Mindscape          NEW!     09       6        2
Dogday                     Impact/Asylum      NEW!     75       6
Doll Messenger 2           Forest, Ltd        NEW!     10       5        2
Dragon Dice                Interplay          NEW!     24       7
Dungeon Keeper             Bullfrog/EA        BET!     42       1
Dungeon Keeper 100%        Bullfrog/EA        FIN!     42      10
Ecstatica 2                Psygnosis          NEW!     61       8
Ecstatica 2 Docs           Rufus Dox, Inc     DOX!     01       0
Fairy Tale Adventure 2     Trimark            NEW!     11       6        1
Grand Slam                 Virgin             NEW!     55       6
Great Battles of Alexander Interactive Magic  NEW!     22       6
Hardball 5 Enhanced        Accolade           NEW!     40       5
HB5 Enhanced Docs          Accolade           DOX!     04       0
Iron & Blood               Take 2 Interactive NEW!     26       6
Meat Puppet                Playmates          NEW!     74       7 (FIX) -2
PGA Pro Tour               Electronic Arts    NEW!     45       7
Pro Pool 3D                Head Games         NEW!     09       6        2
Raiden 2                   Gamebank           NEW!     08       6        2
Search and Rescue          Interactivision    NEW!     10       6        2
Smart Games: Stratajams    RandomSoft         NEW!     11       6        1
Strikepoint: The Hex Miss. Project 2 Inter.   NEW!     11       6        1
Super Bubsy                Accolade           NEW!     21       6
War Gods                   GT Interactive     NEW!     24       6
Wipeout XL Final           Psygnosis          LAM!     09      -1
Zeitgeist                  Gamebank           NEW!     03       5        2
                                                               ---      ---
                                              SUBTOTAL POINTS 159 BONUS 10
                                                            TOTAL : 169


 QUICK REVIEWS:

 688 Hunter: Boring submarine sim, you need a manual for this.  70%
 Animal: Funny point and click adventure.  60%
 Ardennes: Boring strategy game, WW2 combat.  65%
 Carm: Great racing/killing game.  A definite d/l.  90%
 Counter Action: C&C clone set in WW2, though not as good.  55%
 Dogday: Nice adventure game like Myst with good puzzles/sound.  80%
 Doll Mess: Street Fighter clone, few special moves but good super moves.  60%
 Dragon Dice: Strategy game, nice gfx but really hard to learn.  75%
 Dung Keep: Popular strategy game.  Protect your dungeon from heroes.  95%
 Ecstatica: Sequel to the first cool horror/adventure game.  85%
 Fairy Tale: Nice RPG, with good gfx but little sound.  80%
 Grand Slam: Shitty baseball game that takes too much HD space.  60%
 Great Batt: Strategy/Wargame set in ancient Greece.  Nice gfx but boring. 70%
 HB5: The same old shitty baseball game with 97 stats.  55%
 Iron&Blood: Fighting game based on D&D's Ravenloft. Good gfx bad control. 75%
 Meat Puppet: Nice isometric shooter like Crusader.  Very gory.  80%
 PGA: Bleh a golf game, ok gfx, ok sound.  65%
 Pro Pool: Nice billiards sim, good gfx but too hard to figure out.  70%
 Raiden 2: Cool vertical scrolling spaceship shooter.  80%
 Search&R: Helicopter sim with fun missions but lame gfx.  70%
 Stratajams: Puzzler that is entertaining for a short time.  60%
 Strikepoint: Nice action shooter helicopter game.  80%
 Super Bubsy: Cool 2D side scrolling platformer with great gfx.  80%
 War Gods: Shitty 3D Fighter from the people who did MK.  55%
 Zeitgeist: Ok shoot em up with lame gfx and it's too hard as well.  50%

 Past Performance - Based upon past performance we'd expect the number one
                    position to be taken by this group who continually 
                    has proven their ability since formation in January.

 Actual Performance:

        With the addition of several new members, including Ice, Teacher, etc
 they've begun a push into Europe.  Not only do they control 90% of the USA,
 they seem to have done quite well in Europe this month, and might take even
 more of it away from HBD.  Also they've brought in some new Hong Kong guys
 to supply the latest Chinese/Japanese (but in English) games, and this only
 adds a lot more firepower to the team.  Class is expanding rapidly and other
 groups had best watch their backs else they'll find themselves left in the
 dust.

 Predicted Performance - They'll take the number one spot again next month
                         unless a magical new force does something about it.

_____ _____  ____ _____  ________________
\_   | \   \/   / _   /__\_   \_/   _    \
 |   _  \_  \ _/  \   \ __/___/ |   /    /
 |___|   |____|___/   /_\   \___|_______/
  ::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\::::::::::

______________________________________________________________________________
|Release Name              Company           Status   Size   Points   Bonus  |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Pro Pinball: Timeshock  Empire               NEW!     36       7
 SpeedSter               Psygnosis            DUP!     37       0
 Sunday Times XWord Comp ???                  NEW!     01       3
 Terracide               Eidos                NEW!     34       8
 Voodoo Kid              Infogrames           NEW!     69       6        2
                                                               ---      ---
                                              SUBTOTAL POINTS  24  BONUS 2
                                                            TOTAL : 26

 QUICK REVIEWS:

 ProPin: Nice 3D pinball game with good gfx/sound and multiple tables.  80%
 Sunday Times: Lame-o crossword puzzle game.  60%
 Terracide: Excellent Descent clone with superb gfx/gameplay.  85%
 Voodoo Kid: Nice point and click puzzle adventure.  75%


 Past Performance - This group has dominated Europe for the past several
                    months, but was unable to have any success in the USA.
                    Recently they've been rather dead as well, as certain
                    key suppliers have been preoccupied, and the number of
                    European releases has dwindled.

 Actual Performance : 

        This month Mad Turnip's gotten more active and it shows, as he
 gives HBD a few nice releases.  Unfortunately it seems he's the only active
 supplier keeping this group alive, and might just have some competition from
 CLS's Euro team.  The loss of Teacher, the only other supplier besides MT
 doesn't exactly bode well for them.

 Predicted Performance - Typically coming in as the #2 contender, due to the
                         smaller number of European releases, it's expected
                         they will retain this slot in May, continuing to
                         produce only European titles.


                    
        ۲ݲ    
 ۲ 
 ޲ ۲     
       
 ۲ ۲ ۲۲ ۲ ۲
 ۲ ۲
                               
                             
                               
______________________________________________________________________________
|Release Name              Company           Status   Size   Points   Bonus  |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adv of Lomax Trainer       Id Mud             TRN!     01       0        1
Fifa Soccer Manager        Electronic Arts    NEW!     34       6
Formula Karts              Sega PC            NEW!     24       6
Formula Karts Win Addon    Sega PC            CRP!     01       0
Trash It                   Gt Interactive     NEW!     19       6        1
                                                               ---      ---
                                              SUBTOTAL POINTS  18  BONUS 2
                                                            TOTAL : 20

 QUICK REVIEWS:

 Fifa - Boring soccer management sim.  40%
 Formula - Nice kart racing game, lots of fun.  75%
 Trash It - Action hammering game.  It's weird.  65%


 Past Performance - While they have gotten some nice titles in the past, their
                    lack of motivation/skill has relegated this group to the
                    lesser ranks.  Combine it with a holier than thou
                    attitude (us Pakis sometimes feel the same way...jihad!)
                    and a blatant disregard for the disk limit, and you've
                    got a paradigm of how not to run a group.

 Actual Performance : 
 
        Nothing really new here, though they lost Ice to Class.  They got a
 few German games, but Backlash is beating them to some, so next month may
 or may not prove to be a problem for PDM's dwindling supplies.

 Predicted Performance - Figure out how many games are coming from Germany in
                         June, add it to how many games there will be from
                         the US companies they've got stuff from before,
                         and you'll know what to expect.

 _______  ________  ____________     __
\____   \/  \__   \/  _ \____   \ __/  \____
 / _/  _/    \/   /   /  / _/  _// / / / / /
/  \   \  /\ /   /\  /  /  \   \/ /\  / / /
\__/\   \/RTX______\___/\__/\   \/ / /_/_/
=====\___)===\__)============\___)=\/=======
______________________________________________________________________________
|Release Name              Company           Status   Size   Points   Bonus  |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Animal Working           Ocean                DUP!     75      0 
Animal Sound Addon       Ocean                CRP!     ??      0
Dungeon Keeper           Bullfrog/EA          BET!     42      1
EF 2000 v2.0             Ocean                NEW!     33      6
EF 2000 v2.0 3DFX        Ocean                LAM!     ??     -1
Links LS '98             Access               NEW!     67      9
Tony LaRussa Baseball 4  Maxis                NEW!     58      7
                                                               ---      ---
                                              SUBTOTAL POINTS  22  BONUS 0
                                                            TOTAL : 22

 QUICK REVIEWS:

 EF 2000 - Improved version of the popular flight sim game.  75%
 Links LS - Improved gfx/draw rates but mostly the same golf game as 97.  85%
 Tony 4 - Latest version of this nicely drawn baseball game.  80%


 Past Performance - Despite claims of glory, the once great group has been in
                    a steady decline for the past year, putting out small
                    numbers of titles, though they are good ones.

 Actual Performance :

         Well at least this month Razor seems to be more motivated, getting
 a few nice titles.  MYM an old supplier returns from nowhere to score
 EF2000 v2.0 but also gives them a Dungeon Keeper beta.  Also they add
 Aggro, a Maxis insider to the team, and unless someone has some magic means
 of beating him, you can expect him to provide Razor with the upcoming
 big name Maxis titles, so they have a pulse still.

 Predicted Performance - Yet another slow month, in which a few more betas
                         and over the limit releases will appear.


******************************************************************************
GRAND TOTALS
******************************************************************************


This Month's Totals               Previous Rankings
-------------------               -----------------

1. Class - 169 points             1. Class
2. Hybrid - 26 points             2. Paradigm
3. Razor -  22 points             3. Hybrid 
4. Paradigm - 20 points           4. Razor 

Current Records (Since March '97)
---------------
Points - 169 (Class)
# Of Releases in 1 Month - 25 (Class)
Total # Of Releases - 79 (Class)

SUMMARY: You bastards in the scene keep us Pakis indoors playing lots of
         games when we should be out milking the goats and planning for
         our 67 sisters' dowries.  Luckily for us July is traditionally
         a dry month filled with crap (much like Razor's heads), and we
         should have plenty of time to spend praying 5 times a day and
         worshipping cows.  If we get enough time we will go on a quest to
         find the perfect slushee, please feel free to direct us to the
         sacred 7-11 hidden in the Kashmir mountains that contains it.
         For now we'll just have to take a break from establishing Little
         India in Canada to play some of this leet stuff.

         Keep it real, Paki style, and if the bitch don't have your warez,
         you gotsta go upside her head.

This is Achmed, Apu, Amer, Azim, Azif, Achmed, Anwar, Abdul, and Punjab
signing off.  Catch us next month and always remember...
THE ONES WHO SAY  "QUALITY NOT QUANTITY" ARE *ALWAYS* THE LOSING ONES!

Greets: New Dehli Mobb Deep and their thrown down posse.  Son Paki and   
        Funkraunchiest who don't bathe like the Khoran tells you...damn right
        they're down.  Mahatma Ghandi and his sick ass crew, who'll fuck you
        up crazy style..word is bond ain't no passive resistance here.  My        cow.  Sanjed the camel and his harem of bitches.  The Rajah of Kashmir
        homey Shaft who's gonna make a sequel...hells yeah Shaft in India's
        gonna put the flava back in this ill country.  Salman Rushie betta 
        watch his back cause we gonna go Satanic Verses on that nigga since
        our homey the Ayatollah wants yo head on a platter.  Paradigm - Your
        foolish actions and lack of brainpower expose you as Pakis.  Don't
        try to keep yourself on the down low..like Dre says, Express Yoself,
        and let us know you're down with the dirty brown.

Be sure to watch "Welcome Back, Patel" a moving 70s comedy featuring the hip
and groovy commentary of Achmed Patel, whose sporting the latest in afro and
turban hybrids daily on WPKI Channel 1, Pakistan's only station!

******************************************************************************
        
        Let's face it, a lot of games come out, and like Pakistan's population
of beggars they're really big.  You want reviews, so you can get a glimpse of
the game before you spend 30 hours downloading it or waiting 7 years for it to
arrive via camel.  Yes, you want reviews, but you're sick of Ionizer's 
incompetence and Pathos's prattle.  Us Pakis have prayed to Mecca, and by
the grace of Allah, we have your answer...

                               THE REVIEWERS GUILD
                                      [TRG]

            * Reviews for every game, within 12 hours of release
            * Full color screen shots in every review
            * Multiple Opinions to help give better perspective
            * Competent and informative reviews 
            * Wit and wisdom approved by our team of Paki experts
            * Friendly reviewers share information and tips

               FOR MORE INFORMATION JOIN #TRG ON IRC EFNET
                    OR CHECK OUT    WWW.TRGUILD.COM
                    DON'T FORGET    WWW.BUDGETPAKI.ORG
